oh and...

I cant explain Tokyo

Words just cannot explain the oddities of Tokyo. Well the city isn't odd, its quite exciting, but the people here give it that unique flavor. Because let me tell you, there are a lot of unique individuals here. Shall I show you?

Lots of characters on the JR lines. Some of whom have trouble getting home after a long days, or night, of work or whatever else caused this dudes numbness in his legs. I wonder what, hmmm.

I found where they get that pink hair. The anime shops. Like these guys were actually considering dawning some green and maroon colored toupees.





Probably thought about taking those wonderful colors and join their friends outside Yoyogi Park. But I think only on the weekends do these creatures venture out into the daylight making the atmosphere feel a bit like Washington Square Park here. I'm glad to see the free hugs movement is a worldwide endeavor still going strong with classic guys or girls like this promoting hugs and happiness for us all.

Makes you feel like you wanna hug a giant panda doesnt it?Or, dress up like Neo from the Matrix and talk to some bunnies you meet on the street.


Dont worry little bunny, I would suck on a lollipop too if I looked like that.

Heck, they deck the whole family out in costume and roll down the street. Ever see a clown take a photo of Pickachoo? Now you have. Actually, I think they're dressed for a wedding? Maybe they wear this to a wedding as well. Hmm, I doubt it. But why not, its Tokyo.

And its along these Tokyo streets that you see a lot of notable Americans. Ever watch Bill Murray in Lost in Translation? Well the real Bob Harris is none other than...drumroll please.......Tommy Lee Jones. He is THE BOSS. And his sidekick is Cameron Diaz.

At least you wont find them in a karaoke joint. And thats pronounced KAR-aye-Okay. They leave the public singing to handy plumbers (or the three Japanese Stooges) like this. I'm sure you are all frantically opening a new browser window (Mozilla I hope) now and typing in www.YouTube.com now to find this laughable spectacle.

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?






Anything at all?





Yes, this guy is dressed up as a Coke machine. And when he walks right at you with those yellow eyes glaring...watch out bro.









When you want to sing here it will probably be to the beats of Michael Jackson. They still like him in Japan I see. And if Snoopy could sing, I'm sure they'd like that too. For I see Snoopy everywhere in Tokyo.

But no one can beat this guy. He loves U2. Cant you see? He is dressed like Bono. But he sure cant sing like Bono! He was busting out rhythms to songs like Sunday Bloody Sunday over and over to the enjoyment of western tourists alike. I dont know why he was doing this, but it was hilarious. And I got some of it on video - which I will not be posting on YouTube!

So if you enjoy mad characters, just head on over to Washington Square Park or your nearest international airport for the next $1200 flight direct to Tokyo. Its not that far; smile!

Tok-YO 30.12.07

Speaking of Japan, ya cant come here and not see Tokyo. What a city. I cant believe how vast and expansive the surrounding city is. Probably why the at first overwhelming train system seems so expansive. And always on time. The Tokyo station I thought to be 10 floors - really isnt. Its like 10 platforms in every direction. Being so complicated, I give mad props to the urban engineers who laid out and designed this systems infrastructure. They also threw in some ridiculously precise operations timing as well. They have platform guys like this constantly looking at his watch and signaling with his arms, flailing at the air, some sort of mystic symbolism only the train conductors can understand. But thats how they leave and arrive on the second they're scheduled. A funny thing - I happened to be in the first car of a JR line train and watched the driver make the funny hand signals whenever we passed a green rail light or platform. Like he was in the driver cab alone and still doing all these hand checks against his controls. Whether for show or not it was funny to see.

But I'll let you know what I have now mastered the Tokyo rail system like a ninja master. Its really not that bad if you think about it. With this newfound energy I embarked on a day long journey through the heart of Tokyo. What did I see?

First stop, Akihabara...home to more electronics stores than you can count with a little anime action thrown in between. Every store has their own little employee dressed up in colorful outfits, blaring todays sales - in Japanese of course - through a blowhorn.Selling motherboards galore. Numerous IT shops to the point where they dedicate whole floors to just Intel or AMD. Its insane. So if youre an AMD fan like myself, you just need to visit one floor out of like seven.







If you like anime, this is where you need to be. But if you also like Nintento, which I do, then this is where you need to be. They have the Famulator - a interesting little device that emulates the original Nintendo. So we can all play Super Mario Brothers anytime!






Does anyone need a Super Famicom? Or the need to waste thousands of Yen at the local Pachinko joint? Good luck finding a seat...throngs of Japanese dudes have already beaten you there. And the funny thing was that upstairs from the same building was a CVS type store. You can gamble and then spend the money you dont have upstairs.






















Tokyo is not all electronics and anime though. I jumped on a JR line and headed over to Asakusa where every other tourist can be found. Chillin at the Sensoji Temple - the biggest in Japan I think - or the Nakamise arcade street market establishment right next to it.
I sampled the local Senbei rice crackers. Taste like a rice cake. I hate rice cakes. Next up was some weird flavored red bean buns with like sesame, green tea or jelly flavored fried coating. Let me tell you it was the best red bean bun I'd ever eaten. Its probably why there were hundreds of Japanese people lined up to get one.










I scurried on over to Harajuku where you can walk through Yoyogi Park and find the Meiji Shrine.In the same neighborhood is another totally different one. One that resembles St Marks Place in the East Village. The locals call it Takeshita Dori. And it does feel like you're walking through the village here with the exception of thousands of spectators and shoppers packing the narrow street. People dressed in black, pink, whatever. And dining on a Harajuku crepe. Let me tell you that thing was stupid good. I guess a recurring theme here is if you see mad Japanese people lined up for it - it must be good!

Turn the corner at the end of Takeshita and you're on 5th Avenue or Champs E'Lysses. Only they call it Omotesando Dori here. Your typical street lined with trees and every iconic fashion storefront possible. So, more to come from Tokyo!

Am I a movie star?

Did I mention that while eating some of my last local Thai food in Suvarnabhumi Airport awaiting my flight to Tokyo a Japanese businessman asked me "are you a movie star?" Im like are you serious dude? "Yes, I thought you were that American star - whats his name....George Clooney!" At least from my side profile? Funny Japanese people.

Speaking of my resemblance to George Clooney, this journey started with me checking in at a reasonable 185lbs. I weighed myself the other day and found the scale either to be 19lbs unbalanced or I had lost that much since August. Well I think the latter is more accurate. So I dined on a typical Japanese style fast food delight: the McDonalds Mega Tomago - a 3 patty Big Mac with an egg on top. It probably didnt help that the next day I walked about 12 hours straight all over Tokyo.

konichiwa mothaf"##$#$#"!!!

Comin to ya live from Kyoto. To feel some more culture up in here ive ventured down to Kyoto. First off, the hostel im chillin at is decked out in traditonal Japanese style wooden architecture of sorts and you　get to sleep on a matress on those straw mat things on the floor. Its pretty cool. As I sit in the lounge here rockin my wooden slippers theyre playing some soothing Japanese tunes.

Rain is in the schedule for today and the next few days. But alas that wont stop me from going out, thanks to my waterproof solomons and complimentary umbrella the Gojo Guest House hooked me up with. Emily joined me on my trek to the northwest of Kyoto to see some famed temples and whatnot. Those ramen chips were mad good by the way. So without further adue, here it is...a sprinkling of Kyoto images...

Off to Tokyo...

What is very Japanese?

Lets see shall we? To start off, there are vending machines everywhere. And at times, in the most random places. Ive even found your local egg dispenser on the side of roads. You know what else you might see on the side of a small town road? The police who are on the lookout for speeders. If youre caught by the dude with the radar - whos hiding behind bushes - he will radio ahead to the dude down the street. And his perogative is to literally jump out of the bushes and run in front of your car, frantically flagging you　down with his flag. To someone who first experiences such a calamity it can be frightening cause your first instinct is what the hell is wrong with this dude is he gonna jack mah car? But for real, he just wants to give you a ticket. Funny.

Now what about the Japanese environment? Compulsively clean. Like I said before the trains are stupid sparking shiny and the floor even is like brand new looking. Its like a red carpet as you　walk to the fabulously clean train latrine. Even as I walk out of the train there is an old Japanese cleaning lady ready and waiting with a trash bag arms wide open to take your garbage...see the lady in red, like that. No need to find the trash can to throw away this sour tasting green tea drink of mine. Its crazy, there was a trash lady at each door of the super bullet train. And thats a long freakin train. A friend caught a Japanese worker vaacuuming the train station floor...that was classic.

Speaking of classic - the trains...they have heated coushion seats!

Of course we know how confusing train stations are with all the Japanese lingo. But if you　need to find your way, just ask! Its simple, hold up your train ticket and they smile and point you　to the platform. Then you get a traditional Japanese bow. Mad bowing by everyone. The locals bow left and right here. When you　get your change. When you　leave restaurants. When you　finish a conversation. Even when the conductor leaves your train car and exits to the next he will turn around and bow to everyone on board. Its an insane showing of respect to everyone and anyone.
Service with a smile. I observe how the Japanese workers just plain work hard and compare that to none other than our own backyard called America. Some places in the US where youre left waiting eons for someone to take your order or clean your table. Unlike here in Japan where some places you sit down at the table and push a button for the waiter to run over and greet you. Other joints you shove Yen into a machine and it spits out a meal ticket. Which you hand to a hostess type person and then the process begins. Must be in accordance with a Japanese desire to satifsy the boss or simply put not to dissapoint and fail. When I order a bowl of noodles the waiter will kindly ask the cook can you please make this so. And the cook replies it will be my pleasure. Its kinda funny to see these guys communicate mad politely. A vast contrast to what some of us are used to back home where something more than aight hol up son its comin might be a surprise. Can you imagine an Applebees or something where the cook graciously accepts an order and politely tells the waiter oh of course it would be my pleasure to cook this meal for our esteemed guests. Back to the point; a few minutes later the food arrives, im done, and the table is wiped down thoughorly. Its just amazing how detailed the job is done from start to finish.

Everyone here of course speaks wild crazy Japanese when you　pay for something. I came to find out later that its just them reiterating how much you　gave them and what your change is. Only I dont understand it and it sounds like theyre telling you　your life story. Another tidbit I discovered...its impolite to hand the Japanese one bill at a time. Its all or nothing. Usually you　place your money in a small plate and the rest is Japanese. Another no no: four. 4 is a bad number in Japan. I shouldnt even be writing the forbidden number here. Some places will give you　a big no no as well. If you　cant go in or just want to say no you　get a big X made by crossing the arms in your face. Cool.

They love the peace sign as you can see. And at times, wearing funny outfits.

Speaking of face...theres no saving face when youre a Japanese businessman out with your boss. You just go wild and crazy. Pretend youre Mickey Mouse. Yell about the Yankees! I gave him a big X and said no Yankees no Matsui!! They looked disappointed until we all started yelling Daisasuke! and Ichiro! and even Kaz Matsui!!! Funny shit yo.

Misawa for Christmas

What did Santa bring me? My very first earthquake experience! Alli and her husband have become accustomed to living in "New York"on a very active fault line which produces weekly mini earthquakes. As Im chillin in Alli's apartment the walls are clearly moving and the floor is totally mobile. How cool Im thinking as I felt for a brief 10 seconds or so what an earthquake can do. Amazing.

Out here its off the beaten path. I stayed on a US naval base, close to the shores of the Pacific Ocean. Life is normal as always for the local Japanese. They go to the shrine and chill by the lake with ducks.And whats normal? Scary looking mannequins at the mall. And sushi! And super mega beef bowl! This was interesting...Japanese dudes making MExican food!
My thanks to Alli and Nick for a rockin time! Come to shaolin next I got you yo.

Japan yo

And I thought Bangkok felt like the next century? Well that was just a temporary lapse in judgement after arriving from third world India. I've seen the future and it's called Japan. The epitomy of efficiency and cleanliness no matter where I go. Well I've been here a few days and haven't gone too far. After landing at Narita International I hopped on super clean train to the super complicated Tokyo Central train station. I don't wish to sound arrogant but I'm pretty good with navigation and finding my way but dang yo Tokyo's system is ridiculously complicated and kind of overwhelming at first as several private railway networks overlap with the Japan Rail network. Tokyo also has two separate metro systems to add to the confusion. The station has at least 10 levels and is not setup like any other I've seen so far. Maps in Japanese and trains labeled with purely names add to the complication.

But with the help of the kind Japanese folk I found my Shinkansen Bullet Train to the north. Let me tell you, everyone needs to ride one of these things going over 300 km/h and feel the walls contract as the vessel flies thru tunnels and countrysides. And its a totally smooth ride. I had a green tea drink on the ledge and not once did it move. I was also astounded by the promptness and accuracy of their timing. These trains leave precisely on the second they are scheduled to depart. It aint even funny how precisely I arrive at my destinations either. Totally tops the French rail network, which until now, was the most precise I had ridden so far. And on Japan Rail trains, the conductors utilize PDA's with passenger seat assignments already shown on their mini screens so no need to check my ticket - they know Im there. Plus they check tickets before you even enter the platform, making the process way more efficient. And it feels futuristic on the trains too. Well at least when you use the sparkling clean toilets and sinks with auto water. But put your hands to the rear of the sink bowl and you get the air dryer activated. Ingenious how its all in one unit.

So here I am now in Misawa, visiting an old college friend, Allison and her husband living out here in the snowy mountain landscape.

KL and Singapore: 20-23.12.07

From Bangkok I hit up two straight overnight trains to Singapore with a day stop in Kuala Lumpur - riding in style amongst these lovely compartments. Gave myself 5 hours to check out the city, which aint bad at all. But the main (and possibly only) attraction: the Petronas Towers. I pretty much rode the Monorail around the city to make myself feel like I was in Disneyworld Florida - cause ya know they got a cool looking monorail too. And outside the towers a mall (of course) I caught the opportune time of day for sunlight to shine upon the lake that enabled my photogenic eye to capture this phenomena as you stare into the pool of h20...The overwhelming first thought when you think of Singapore is its a fantastically clean and safe city with a bunch of technology. Let me tell you otherwise. As I'm riding the MRT to my hostel I saw a piece of paper lying on the floor. Yes, a single piece of litter. There was also the box of discarded tic tacs I almost tripped over. I should sue the city for being so dirty. But the impression this is nerd central was kinda evident on the metro. Kids with PS2's like it was a keychain, someone listening to music coming from his sylish futuristic watch, people breaking out laptops in the hostel and this Internet connection has to be the fastest Ive had since nyc.

But if I did litter, they might throw me in jail (no really they just fine you a lot). Heck im afraid of jaywalking here (as if Im not tempted to since most streets are lined with signs saying "pedestrians use crosswalk") because they really will get you for it...there are cameras above each walking sign! I rolled in pretty late from KL. With the hostel being in the predominately residental Kallang neighborhood I inquired for some late night eats...namely "wheres the McDonalds?" Lady points down the block to "fast food".

It was a late night cheap asian food joint. There were tons of these Hawker 'cafeteria' style fast food places serving up compilations of asian delights. A mere $3 for fried dumplings in noodle soup cooked up within minutes by this little asian guy. With no one in line behind me at 23:30 (yes I use military time all the time now) he's still frantically moving all over the kitchen to cook my meal fast enough to classify the idea of "fast food". I was like good food rapidly is fine too! He was mad jittery yo.

So speaking of fines...note how you cant have Durians in the metro. If ya dont know, that is the foulest smelling fruit on Earth. But being the national fruit, everyone loves it. So why not - I tried it mixed in one of my favorite ice joints (that I first encountered in Taipei): Monster Ice. That mooshy yellow stuff on the right next to the mango is durian. It smells like shit but tastes like dumplings. Needless to say with the horrendous aftertaste I had no more.

But I did have more food. Cause there's two things you do in Singapore: shop and eat. Stuff like: Fei Chui Xiao Chu - this messy stuff the locals love, comprised of noodles and fried oysters. And that green stuff - sugar cane juice. Mad good; cranked out by machines like this.

See this yellow egg stuff? Look closely at the black egg bits in there called Century Egg. Tastes like egg. It really is egg. Egg cooked in horse urine that is. No joke. But it tasted good haha. And this novel dessert idea called Tang Yuan. Sesame dumplings cooked in brown sugar and ginger saucey liquid. Another fantastic invention: Hong Kong ice cream. Just a block of funky ice cream with two skinny wafers on the end. For a dollar, I had to consume a plethora from my man right here.

How would I know about all these interesting eats? By hanging out with the locals...some friends I met thru CS that showed me around the city and took me out with their friends. It was a great experience. Not only a food one, but cultural too. With places on our itinerary like this spanking new temple, opened in October:And Singapore at night:This thing looks like a giant Durian. They even call it the giant fruit. I was going to make some extroardinary electronic purchases in this famed nerd land but I was kinda disappointed when I found Fakepods. I asked the dude so who made this? "Made in China". No, no I mean who is the manufacturer like if it breaks? "China made it". No like you know how iPod is made by Apple? Who made this illegitimate copy? "Chinese government". Well thats lovely. So I left this spectacular city with just a full stomach. Excellent.

Bangkok - last week

I feel like I stepped out of a DeLorean and into the 22nd century. Bangkok is surprisingly modern-like. My first impression: this place is awesome! Is it because they have a stylish spanking new airport, loads of 7/11's, a new Metro system, Dunkin Donuts, freakin McDonalds, even Dairy Queens and Pizza Huts and old ladys who dress funny or insects that taste good to eat? I dont know if its because I hadnt seen the likes of such said establishments for over a month or two or if its because I was so finally glad to be somewhere other than India. The city is sprawling with traffic...but its organized into lanes!

My first mission here was to get my visa to China at the embassy in town. Just so happened to stop by IT City on the way ;) Theres a bunch of these giant malls. I walked through Fortune City like dumbfounded by all the cool things (I would see everyday in America) in the stores like I was a kid. I must have spent hours looking at the nerdy computer stores and even a Cisco partners office - in the mall haha. You could get anything there, of course. Even surprisingly good Thai food as I'll explain below.

A in interesting experience: getting a $2 haircut from in a little pod-like thing situated in a mall within a metro station. Pop quiz: how old do you think she is?

But the best food so far I have found on the street. 5 Baht (10 cent) spring rolls were the best ever. I had dinner last night on a street corner. Cant beat awesome noodle soup for a dollar as traffic and pedestrians surround you. Not many beggars around either. Some women with infants but not so much. You get a typical Thai greeting or thanks if you provide them with coins - the clasping hands like an asian deal. Even Ronald McDonald greets you like this as you enter for his special Samurai McPork Burger or Double Big Mac with 4 beef patties! Let me tell ya the locals need it; all Thai people are twigs. But I refuse to eat there...instead I frequented the Siam Square malls for some good eats here, with nice couch seats and towering 7th floor views of Bangkok all around. You'd be surprised how good it is there, and their system of paying is on another level...one that common folks like us back home wouldnt even adopt quickly.

But the locals are nice, dont speak a word of English and are always smiling - see: Because they love their king. Everywhere you go you'll see 'Long Live the King' and a photo of His Majesty plastered on every available inch of free space - from construction sites to tshirts to billboards to bus windows. Its even 6 months or more in jail if you say anything derogatory about him too. On Mondays, everyone wears Yellow to show their love and support for him. Its truely amazing. His approval rating has to be 3 times better than George Bushs.

Today was Monday. Everyone wore yellow shirts in appreciation of His Majesty. I wore blue.

wat? what you wore blue? wat? There's a wat every corner you turn...or 'what' looks like a temple. Like this - Wat Pho in the Grand Palace. More imagery from the Grand Palace. I have to say its definitely the most colorful religious and amazing places I've come across on this adventure. More imagery from there. Also sacred in there is the famed Emerald Buddha.





Pretend the image above was rotated 90 degrees right.

In another Wat theres a 45 meter long giant Buddha! Insane, theyre everywhere too.Life in Thailand , or Bangkok at least, seemed simple as I took a canal boat ride thru some areas outside the city with some German friends I met at the Lodge.

So thats canal life I guess,where the elderly strive to make a living while kids jump naked into the river for tourists as they pass by. And these are brief tidbits of life itself in this amazing country...very religious and simple. This homeless guy just sat down with us as we had lunch at our Lodge. He spoke about his days during the Vietnam War and how he knew Bob Hope. He apparently also knows ET and operated Tomcat fighter planes over Cambodia. He has a wife in every country and wanted Sandi on the right here to be his #1 Miss Universe haha. We think he was a little confused but just curious about western life with funny stories to tell. He sat with us for over an hour. And that was Bangkok in a nutshell...I will be making a return trip to do all of Thailand justice. Two weeks is not enough. Two months. Anyone down? =)

the Tash Mahal debacle

So I took a tour bus from Delhi to Agra. After the 3 hour journey we first stopped at Agra Fort. Yea it was aight. Next they take us to some not so random shop to see "the mini Taj Mahal" where youre packed into a room with mimi Taj's and businessment ready to make a sell and pay our driver some commission. Everyone in India wants to make money and cheat your ass. The system-or lack thereof-in booking this tour was interesting. I buy "at a discount" from Shubash at the Golden Cafe, he calls some tour agency, who calls someone, who calls the real bus owner, etc. So for 300 rupees I am met at 6am by some kid, who leads me to a street corner with other mummies like myself, who hands us off to an 'organizer' that looks for the bus as hundres careen by the street, who pays each player until finally we get on the proper bus where the driver and his assistant are paid off. Oh and they drive you to your destination. So back to the real story, we finally got to the Taj after being lead to a preordained lunch spot in town (which I refused to go to and instead got some cheap samosas on the street). With all this fluff in the middle of the 'tour', we had like an hour and half to see the Taj. Funny enough it took me AN HOUR TO GET INSIDE THE GATE because theres so many people lining up to see it. Well theres only a billion in India (the worlds largest democracy did you know?) so the chances that .00000000000001 percent showed up that day to the Taj are resonable. I tried to get in as an Indian for 20 rupees (50 cent). It totally worked at Agra Fort. At that point I hadnt shaved or showered in 5 days so yea I smelled and looked just like a local. And I was wearing the same clothes for those said 5 days. Yes, the annals of travelling in India where you just dont give a shit. So of course at the Taj I was able to get a 20 rupee ticket meant for Indians but the guard wasnt so easily duped. The little Hindu I knew wasnt enough to convince anyone I hailed from their nation. He made me drop the 750 rupees (like $22) to get in. Oh well. Now we had a half hour to see the Taj. One of those take a picture real quick and move kind of touristy deals. Kinda sucked. What could be worse? This little story Im about to indulge you with. The stupied bus driver told us in broken Indian style English "meet at 535 at East Gate". I even confirmed with them before leaving. He spelled E-A-S-T too. Im at East Gate at 540pm. Bus 7630? Nada. Gone. Im thinking well shit that blows doesnt it? There is a South and West gate at the Taj. All of which a half hour walk apart. I ask for assistance from the bus drivers waiting there. One calls the Golden Cafe operator to maybe track down the bus driver. Remember the Indian system mentioned above - the source is never the real one providing the service. But somehow miraculously this "good samaritan bus driver" talks to my bus driver. And he's gonna meet me at the Mashalala Hotel! And thats where this bus driver and his tour leader are going! Great! Im like well this is better than sitting in the dark or making a run for a bus that Im sure left my ass in Agra. So I get on an Asian tour bus (did I mention I dislike such?) and the tour leader is telling me and I quote "no problem glad to help, we consider tourists like Gods in India, you dont have to worry, people in India always try to cheat and thats unfortunate, etc". One hour later Im still waiting outside this hotel for my bus to magically drive by and whisk me away back to Delhi. I didnt mind; passed the time chatting with some auto rickshaw drivers. Until the tour leader tells me "oh they called and the bus isnt coming - its on the way to Delhi". Im like fareale you said ya spoke to my driver it was coming. "oh no that was a mistake and I wasnt the one talking to him, my driver was". So I see. I pretty much knew at 540pm this scam was coming. Im led to believe there are "other" buses with the same company still waiting at West Gate to depart for Delhi. I get in a rickshaw with this apparently "good" tour leader and we ride to "west gate". I was like bro this isnt West Gate its a fucking street corner. "oh no west gate is here, they park on the street". Yea ok and I dont have a grasp on my orientation in Agra by now to realize we're no where near Taj Mahals parking grounds. "wait talk to my boss who spoke to your driver". Boss: "yes driver left, no more bus...but I have arranged for you to stay at hotel in Agra...good discount to help you out". By then I was so fed up I said you #$%$#^%^%$^% I got a flight to catch tomorrow I cant stay overnight even if I wanted to. Seeing all they wanted the entire time was a commission on bringing me to a hotel I literally kicked this shithead good samaritan tour leader out of the rickshaw and diverted the vehicle to the Agra train station. Hopped on the next train to Delhi. All that was left was AC class. Which isnt bad - like real seats with the upper class. At a whopping 400 rupees (10 bucks) that was a deal. I think the Indian custom of pricks like this who just live to cheat and make comissions at a "Godlike tourists" expense is the reason why I may never return to this hole on Earth ever again. But thats India. I accept it.

It's India, just accept it

I decided to roll on the train to New Delhi in Sleeper Class. First I had to fight my way at the Amritsar India Rail Reservation counter thru the Indian culture of pushing and shoving in every line known to humankind in this country. An hour later I was able to squeeze my (now skinny) ass up to the window, throw my form at the fat guy slowly typing away on an antiquated AS400 system, hoping my information is accurate enough for the backwards system to comprehend, and then 200 rupees later I had a confirmed reservation for what amounted to about $5 for a 6 hour journey. Man, was that a run-on sentence or what?
And you get what you pay for. The shittiest train car on Earth, where every inch of it smells like the toilet of an Amtrak car. At least on Amtrak when you take a shit it is properly cycled into a system that just keeps the smell of shit within the bathroom itself. In India when you take a shit on a train it just goes straight down a hole to the railroad tracks below. Hence why here (and in Egypt) they post signs "please dont flush toilet at stations". So now I see why the entire Indian train car stinks of shit - because the railroad and surrounding environment along the way is littered with shit. So when you open the car window (which curiously has several metal bars that you cant move welded horizontally across the frame to make you realize why when you see Indian railway disasters on CNN everyone burns to death) for some "fresh" air it just smells like pee and shit! Thats India, just accept it.

So what else can you see in Sleeper ( i.e. the lower caste class of travel) Class? And its not just on the train, its on every street corner. Tons of beggars. Women with one hand out the other holding an infant, women who actually dress nice-clap their hands in front of your face like some ghetto lady from the Bronx ("nigga, oh no you didnt")-and expect you to pay them (which I never did), and women who are deformed. It got so redundant I ran out of coins. At the wrong time because one poor lady came up to my seat and all I could offer was a cookie (at this point I had my hoodie on, covering my entire head to convince the beggars I was sleeping) when she wouldnt leave. So I looked up and her entire bottom lip and mouth was meshed into her neck like some insane burn victim you might see on www.rotten.com. And her ears were burned off too. I had never seen anything like it. So obviously with her mouth permanately burned wide open she couldnt eat a fucking cookie at that point. She got my last coin. Dang, you need a constant supply chain of coins if youre riding a train in Sleeper Class. People sleeping at New Delhi Rail Station. Typical day here. Thats India, just accept it.

The only place you dont find this circus show is on the Delhi metro. Built recently (its only a matter of time before the dust engulfs every inch of the platforms, stations and cars) its surprisingly clean by Indian standards. And utterly secure. You cant get in without armed military checking your bag or patting you down. You cant travel without hearing constant announcements like "watch for unattended bags. IT COULD BE A BOMB". Im not kidding thats the exact translation; they get to the point here. I think you become more vigilant if you hear "it could be a bomb" as opposed to the NYC MTA campaign of "if you see something, say something". Why'd I take the metro? To get out of the shithole Main Bazaar area I was staying in and see Delhi. I was surprised to find greener grass near the India Gate. Not surprised to see upper caste members taking advantage of the greener pastures, either. Sucks to be an untouchable I guess. Oh and in India all the trucks are pimped out, sorta. Thats India, just accept it.

Amritsar

Well my friends here convinced me to leave Dharamsala early and roll with them to Amritsar. The 4am bus ride was kinda whack but our only option. At one point down the mountain the driver and assistant stopped the bus and decided to take a shower, brush their teeth, etc as we sat there pondering for 20 minutes what the hell are we doing in utter darkness with no driver? They came back with no explanation. At one point we drove across a river. I was like uhh the road has disappeared as you can see from this picture taken out my dusty window...3 feet of water? No problem, its India just accept it.

Amritsar was a place I knew nothing about...until now. Its no different than other parts of India...still polluted. I think this silly attempt here to control it is comical at best. Before we even got off the bus the auto rickshaw drivers jumped on to solicit our business to take us to the Golden Temple. I literally had 6 or 8 guys yelling at us to go with them. It was actually enjoyable like a game show or used car auction. "He's down to 60 rupees whos gonna do it for 40?" We got 40 from a guy protesting to have a "van". He even showed us the keys. Yea, to his auto rickshaw. Its India just accept it; we like it.

I bet you that the Golden Temple here is like Mecca for the local Sikhs in the area. Some dude back in the day decided he didnt like Hinduism and tweaked it to what Sikhism is today. A religion that does not believe in the caste system and takes some things from Islam and Buddhism I think. Well the end result is...the turbin wearing Sikhs here in Punjab are actually quite nice to people. As you can see some of them don exquisite outfits, long beards and swords. They say hello all the time and dont appear to want anything but a good English conversation or are just plain curious for they have never seen the likes of Americans before. They also believe everyone is equal and deserves stuff...like free lodging (after leaving a small donation) and food. So we got to stay on the Golden Temple grounds (in a real shabby dorm room, worst Ive seen but whos complaining?) and experience the cafeteria style food they offer all pilgrims there.

Our dorm was downright disgusting compared to a first world country dorm but leagues ahead of the conditions provided for the pilgrims: the floor in the bathroom hallways or cold marble ground in the temple itself. I couldnt believe how many just sleep next to the stench of pee and feet. But they come once a month, once a week, once a liftetime, whatever it may be to survive on the floor overnight and pray during the day. Amazing.
Let me tell ya it was incredible the system they had at the free cafeteria. First, everyone must cover their heads and do away with shoes on the holy grounds. Next, you get a plate, go upstairs and sit in rows...next to hundreds other pilgrims. Dudes dawning turbins and swords come by with giant vats of daal, water (that I of course did not drink) and bread. You eat quick and drop off the silverware to a dude who hands them to a procession of volunteers until finally they clang into a giant collection pot for washing. All you hear 24hrs a day is the banging of silver plates being thrown into the queue. And they feed thousands, sometimes millions of people on the weekends. Jake just walked up one afternoon and helped them peel vegetables. Its nuts anyone can join in. If I ever see a soup kitchen in America with this kind of organization and efficiency I will shit my pants. The Golden Temple itself is cleaned each night by volunteers...who sweep the floors and scrub the pure gold with bare hands and toothpaste. So that during the day its sparking clean in the hazy polluted Indian sky haha. We went in to see the giant book. And theres holy dudes who sit in rooms all day taking requests from pilgrims for something...confession or a blessing I wasnt sure. No pictures allowed but if you ever watch Indian TV and see weird dudes preaching from a giant book Amritsar is where they hail from Im sure.

So what else do tourists do here? Go to the Pakistani border thats a mere 30 minutes away. Theres a giant border sharade between India and Pakistan each day. We checked out the comical showing one afternoon, which is a huge event for everyone in the area. Thousands of Indians show up to mingle with the few tourists...all of whom are funneled from the gates into one metal detector. And if you know India then you know the culture is to push and shove until you get through. Its like an uncivilized mosh pit. For entrance to a spectacle where armed guards do funny dances and handshakes with their opposing counterpart all the while some guy is chanting "Mahrabi bla bla bla" in Indian to garner a "Hindustar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" response from the crowd. I think without that quality entertainment from the outdoor speakers this sharade would be unbearably boring. The closest I may ever get to Pakistan...

As I boarded the free (not surprising) shuttle bus to the train station all the pilgrims were chanting prayers. It was interesting indeed...Im squashed in this tiny ass bus with people hanging out the doors and they still have the capacity to chant as we roll along the bumpy streets of Amritsar. I left my compadres early last Monday to head back to Delhi. They were moving on to Rajastan. I didnt really have interest in seeing India. 2 weeks, 2 months and maybe even 2 years is not enough to see and experience it all. By the way I found out after leaving India that the peace sign really means a big middle finger #$#$$#@#@@@ you when translated...oops =)

Leaving McLeod...6.12.07 **pictures added**

So its been an interesting week here in McLeod Ganj, 5580 feet above sea level in Himachal Pradesh province in northern India. Me and my two buddies I met on the way here - Jacob from update NY and Tuan from Laos/Paris - have been enjoying the cheap momos, awesome people and incredible sights. As well as the local Tibetan culture. Its like Little Lhasa up in this piece. I've been goin to Buddhist philosophy classes. I'll spare you the details cause who wants to rub their religious or philosophical views off on others? Nah we all want to strive for happiness and no suffering, right?

So here's a brief synopsis of what goes down in McLeod:
-you dont feel like youre in India. Mad Tibetan vibe felt all over town. Its peaceful and spiritual in some ways. -live music at Carpe Diem. A restaurant where you can actually eat and not get sick! plus the live jam sessions are hot
-climbing mountains. It's a weird feeling when no less than 2 weeks ago I was at the lowest point on Earth (the Dead Sea at around 1083 feet below sea level ) and this past Sunday we climbed atop Triund, a mere 2975 meters above sea level.

Most likely the highest altitude these lungs have conquered. Stunning views of the snow capped Himalayan foothills behind. It was a good time up the rocky cliff edges - but getting down got interesting. We tried to find a back path to town, walking along the ridge top looking for it to no avail. Ended up heading straight down along 70 degree slopes admist trees and rocks, looking for a path. Jacob must have been seeing things cause every little opening apparently was a path. We ran into two random Indian guys primitively cutting trees and asked "which way to Bhagshu road path?" Their reply: "no English"; yet they pointed down. So we continued on. And it was getting near 3pm. Two hours to sunset. We found a stupa. I guess the devil pitchforks posted on it (not sure of that religious significance) should have been an omen but we continued on. I lost footing and slid a good 20-30 feet straight down. Shit my pants haha. But still we continued on. Until the decade of hiking experience of this Eagle Scout made an executive decision and finally deduced that if we continued on looking for a road or trail we would be stuck in utter darkness and freezing temperatures. Plus there's bears that eat people out here. I said guys "I am heading back up and going back the rocky path we came up on, and Im not leaving without you". They had no choice but to follow me back. We jetted back the original trail and made it back just as pitch blackness overcame the valley. Jacob thanked me later for saving his life. Sure as hell didnt want to be one of those lost hiker stories. And it's happened before on these same slopes in the past.

-Staying alive in the cold. So Im still here to tell you what else Ive been up to :) I met a fellow technology nerd from the Netherlands at Lhamos Croissant Cafe. We sparked a convo about wireless networking and whatnot. I went up to Nadi Village the next day to check out the setup he's volunterring with. Apparently they offer volunteer gigs with 3 month minimum stays. Oh well, maybe next time. But it was right in my field. I unfortunately found a disappointing short term volunteer shindig playing with Photoshop.

-Communication. But I also started spending time helping Tibetan monks with their English conversation. And I even teached a little each evening. Of course they now know how to say typical nyc lingo "whats up yo" and "thats cool man!" I told them to find a Scottish or Brit to learn real proper grammar. Still tho it was a blast and eye opening experience. Some of them have never heard of western ways and ideas. Or of iPhones or pineapple juice. Its amazing how sheltered and remote things are out here. We met some nice guys, Tee and Sung from Thailand also here to learn English. They invited us over for dinner a few nights. Other times we hit up our favorite Peace Cafe for Tibetan bread and tea. Its been great teaching them broken English. Tee has got to have the longest last name ever...Kampol (Tee) Jongsreewattanaporn.

So tomorrow we say goodbye to this lovely mountain town. And head to Amritsar, where the Golden Temple lives. And the Pakistani border is a mere hour away. Hmm...I think we will attempt a peak in this volatile touristy area. If you dont hear from me, its cause Im stuck in Pakistan with a single entry (already used) visa to India :)